Synopsis
I can’t remember the
last time I felt completely safe. Security seemed more like a luxury to me,
reserved for those who were fortunate enough to have picture perfect childhoods.
For those who didn’t bear the ugly scars that keep me bound in constant,
debilitating fear. I’ve run from that fear my entire life. But when I met him,
for once, I couldn’t run anymore.
He scared the hell out
of me in a way that excited every fiber of my being. It wasn’t the tattoos or
the piercings. It wasn’t the warmth that seemed to radiate from his frame and
blanket me whenever he was near. It was just…him. The scary beautiful man that
threatened to alter 23 years of routine and rituals, and make me face my
crippling fear.
My name is Kami and I
am constantly afraid. And the thing that scares me the most is the very thing I
want.
***Inspired by true events***
Release Date: July 18th, 2013
Excerpt
“Hey,”
I smiled, stepping behind the bar and tying the little black apron around my
waist. Dive had just opened and was completely empty aside from the day shift
preparing for the lunch crowd.
Blaine
turned from his task of refilling the soda dispenser and crooked a grin. I
could only describe it as polite, and that fact tore me in two.
“Hey,
Kami.” His deep chocolate eyes narrowed. “You change your hair?”
I
twirled a lock of my honey blonde highlighted mane and shrugged. “Felt like I
needed a change.” I didn’t have the guts to tell him that it was really an
attempt at bribery by Angel. She knew I was a whore for spa days at the upscale
salon she frequented and used my weakness to try to get me to gush about my
feelings for Blaine. It didn’t fully work as she intended but I did throw her a
bone: I told her I was attracted to him. It was harmless enough. Even a 90 year
old deaf and blind woman would have a raging lady boner for him.
Blaine
gave me the most genuine smile I had seen from him in days and I swear I felt
something in my chest swell. “I like it. Makes you look…I don’t know…
devastatingly sexy.”
I
didn’t try to stifle the blush that I could feel heating my cheeks. I embraced
it. It was the first time I had felt anything but regret in days. “Yeah?”
“Hell
yeah,” he said, closing the distance between us in three long strides.
And
there it was again. The smell of mint and spice and pure male. The heat that
seemed to roll off his body and enfold me like a mink blanket. Those intense
brown eyes that made me forget my own name and had me imagining screaming out
his. Him. It was all him. Blaine somehow made me forget me. The me that wasn’t allowed to feel all these beautiful,
exciting things. The me that didn’t believe in happy endings. The me that was
unlovable, and in turn, could never, ever love.
“You
were sexy before…unbelievably so. But the way the golden strands seem to meld
with your green eyes, it just… wow. Makes it hard to look at anything or anyone
else.”
I
sucked in a breath of air and let it out slowly through my mouth, closing my
eyes in attempt to regain some sense of composure. “Blaine…” I couldn’t say
anymore. His name, occupying my tongue like his skin once did, was enough.
“I’m
sorry,” he sputtered quickly, breaking me from the sweet memories of tasting
him. My eyes fluttered open to him looking sheepish, rubbing the back of his
neck with a tattooed hand. Shit, even that
was sexy.
“I
think I should explain.” He rolled the barbell in his mouth before flashing me
a strained grin. “I have this habit of always saying how I feel, no matter how
embarrassing it is. A long time ago, I didn’t speak my mind. I didn’t ask the
right questions because I was afraid of the answers. And life shitted on me
because I kept my mouth shut. So I vowed to always be brutally honest and let
the chips fall where they may. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”
I
looked away, seeking refuge from his penetrating stare. It didn’t make me
uncomfortable. His words, his presence, it made me anxious. It made that pesky
flutter in my stomach evolve into a full on swarm of butterflies.
“It
doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” I replied, speaking my truth. For once, I
didn’t let fear suppress my first instinct. “But you do make me nervous.”
“Nervous?”
Blaine asked, crooking a brow.
“In
a good way,” I quickly recovered. Shit. Real
smooth.
Blaine
chuckled, and that fascinating sound chipped at the wall around my forgotten
heart. “I wasn’t aware there was a good kinda nervous. But I’ll take it.
Anything to see your cheeks get pink like that. You have no idea how it makes
me feel when that happens.”
Speechless.
I was rendered completely speechless and my cheeks had taken on a life of their
own and complied with his wishes. The smile that spread across Blaine’s lips as
he took in my reddened face was undeniable and I suddenly felt completely
stripped bare before him. I just wanted to cover myself and hide. But Blaine
wasn’t having that. Before my nerves sent me cowering in a corner, his head
dipped, placing his lips at my earlobe.
“I
know you said you don’t feel anything,” he whispered. “But can you honestly say
that you don’t feel this? That this
heat, this attraction, is all in my head? Don’t think about it; just answer.
Tell me what your heart wants to say and not what your head keeps trying to
make you believe.”
I
swallowed down the ‘no’ that was already reflexively building in my throat and
let Blaine’s proximity push away the fear. His presence did that for me; it got
me out of my own way.
“Yes,
Blaine,” I rasped. “I feel it.” I did. I felt all of it. I felt all of him.
Bio
Most known for her starring role in a
popular sitcom as a child, S.L. Jennings went on to earn her law degree from
Harvard at the young age of 16. While studying for the bar exam and recording
her debut hit album, she also won the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking invention
of calorie-free wine. When she isn’t conquering the seas in her yacht or flying
her Gulfstream, she likes to spin elaborate webs of lies and has even
documented a few of these said falsehoods.
Some of S.L.’s devious lies:
THE DARK LIGHT SERIES
Dark Light
The Dark Prince
Light Shadows (Fall 2013)
FEAR OF FALLING- July 18th, 2013
Meet the Liar:
authorsljennings.wordpress.com
Twitter: @MrsSLJ
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/SLJennings
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